Another Day in Paradise

I was at my Rotary meeting yesterday and talking to a good friend of mine who is also a Floridian by birth but not by heart.  Both Bill and I agree; we should have been born in the mountains.  He was talking about drinking his coffee in the morning, enjoying the country-quiet, with his dogs sitting on his chair with him (another thing that connected us as friends), and how grateful he was to be in this beautiful place.  We both left corporate life behind, including the stresses associated with it, and we couldn’t be happier we did.  It’s a gentler life, this one.  And it somehow feels safer.  Well, it did until my yard man called me on his cell phone as he was leaving last night and said he killed a good-sized rattler on the road right below my house – the same road my husband was walking our Bassets on just a couple of hours before.  Now, for those of you who are a tad (or a lot) heated because he killed that rattler, I offer my deepest apologies.  However, I’d have added a bonus onto his check had he killed that deadly viper prior to my writing his check out.  Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE animals.  I just don’t love those that can kill me with one bite simply because I get too near it on a dark country road.  So much for paradise!  I must say, living in the suburbs of Florida, I didn’t have to contend with rattlesnakes.  Oh, I know they were probably around, as were the water moccasins and alligators, but the roads, sidewalks, condos and shopping malls encouraged them to move on to more secluded places.  And I now live in one of those secluded places.  In all fairness, it is we who have invaded their space – not vise versa.  And while I believe in “live and let live”, not all creatures – humans included – do.  And that’s when a lawn man can become my hero.

I have lived through hurricanes Donna, Betsy, Cleo, Irene, Katrina, Andrew and Wilma, to name a few, and after surviving winds of 220 mph (the wind gage at the University of Miami, two miles down the road from my house at the time, registered that wind speed during hurricane Andrew), you’d think a little ol’ rattler wouldn’t bother me at all.  Well, it does – and more so than a category 5 hurricane.  At least I’ve got warning when a storm is going to strike, unlike a snake.

Another thing that takes some of that “gentler, kinder place” feeling out of living in the mountains is the fact that in just a few months, I’ll be dealing with snow and ice on the road.  I’d still take that over a rattler, though.  But, to my friends living in non-snowy and icy places, I cannot emphasize enough the terror that is stricken within you when the weather man warns you of black ice during your drive to or from work.  Fortunately, my work keeps me safely planted in my brand new office chair at home, but there are still times I have to be out and about in it, and that’s when I realize you can take the girl out of Florida, but you can’t take the Florida out of the girl.  I guess (no, I know), I’m a bit of a control freak, and I do not like the sensation of sliding OUT OF CONTROL on an icy road!  No, I do not. I want to control my speed, movement and direction, and there’s no chance of that when you hit ice.  That’s when my praying gets real serious and I making bargains with God that I’m sure He doesn’t take too seriously.  In the meantime, as I careen down my beloved country roads in January, my friends in Florida will be playing golf in tee-shirts and turning their faces up towards a warm winter sun between shots, thinking to themselves, “Ahhh, now THIS is paradise,” especially since some of them are transplanted New Yorkers, who know all too well the dangers of living in those winter dangerlands.  Hence, that’s why they can be found on the golf course in Florida, in January.

The bottom line is this: Most every place has its own kind of paradise, as well as its own set of rules.   And we have to accept them and live with them (except if it’s a rattler, then it’s a fight to the death).  We have to conform to the whims and “wilds” of Mother Nature, after all, she’s in charge (which just made my toes curl as I typed that fact).  If we’re wise enough, or brave enough, or old enough, we realize that, and we go with the flow, enjoying the best that nature has to give, and learning how to endure the worst, knowing that it, too, shall pass.  It will, it always does, we just have to wait for it.  All things considered, there’s a little bit of the good, the bad and the ugly threaded throughout life everywhere, and that’s what makes it all so interesting.  But, just to be on the safe side while trying to convince myself that it’s all so interesting, I’m putting snow chains on my tires, loading my shotgun for snakes, and watching the weather man religiously.  I’m taking no chances.  Even in paradise.