Reservations with Resolutions

I was recently asked if I’d made any New Year’s resolutions, and I resolutely replied in the negative.  Not only did I not make any this year, I never do.  To me, they’re just the perfect storm for letting ourselves down and beating ourselves up, and then, come December 31st, when the crushing blow hits us in our over-indulged post-Christmas faces that we’ve not met those goals, we pass on those unrealized achievements to become the next New Year’s resolutions.  And so the hamster on the wheel continues his journey to nowhere. 

Now, I don’t mean to sound like a naysayer, but I think there’s just a better way of doing things rather than creating some redundant list that falls by the wayside with each calendar page.  Being curious, I looked up what the most common resolutions are and here’s the list: 

·                                 Improving diet: 39% of respondents

·                                 Pursuing a career ambition: 21% of respondents

·                                 Spending more time with family: 18% of respondents

·                                 Taking up a new hobby: 14% of respondents

·                                 Spending less time on social media: 13% of respondents

·                                 Quitting smoking: 10% of respondents

·                                 Decorating or renovating a home: 10% of respondents

·                                 Volunteering more or doing charity work: 10% of respondents

·                                 Raising money for a charity: 5% of respondents

·                                 Cutting down on drinking: 4% of respondents

·                                 Quitting drinking entirely: 2% of respondents

Then I researched how many of those resolution-makers actually meet those goals.  Unsurprisingly, only 10%.  And the reasons for that low percentage were:

                Reason 1: Going it Alone

                Reason 2: Extremely Lofty Resolutions

                Reason 3: Giving up too Easily

                Reason 4: Time Management

                Reason 5: Financial Burden

                Reason 6: Unrealistic Resolutions

                Reason 7: No Plan

                Reason 8: Lack of Honesty

                Reason 9: Wrong Perspective

                Reason 10: Not Believing in Yourself

When the WordWranglers were kicking around ideas for this month’s theme, Nan suggested that we talk about taking care of ourselves as writers.  However, I’m going to expand that theme to encompass both writers and non-writers alike.  Looking forward to this coming year, I think we need to do exactly what Miss Nan suggested: We need to take care of ourselves.  And, yes, there are things we should do to accomplish that: Quit smoking, or drinking excessively, lose weight, etc. etc.  But I also think that we need to be gentle with ourselves, and kinder, and more in tune to what it is that we would like to do, not just need to do.

Why is it that we make out our list of resolutions and most, if not all, of them are unpleasant, lacking any motivation to get us up and running (so to speak), simply because the list is so depressingly blah, if not downright overwhelming?  Sure, there are things we need to do to help our health, or finances, and relationships, but I believe those things are more easily accomplished if we add a few fun things in there, and if we lower the bar of expectations down a few rungs, too.  For example, instead of saying I’m going to take that trip to Africa this year.  Why not just put down on that mean ol’ resolutions’ list: Call Way-to-Go Travel Agency to discuss a variety of African trip packages.  Or, instead of resolving to lose forty pounds, why not put down on that list: Check out other snack options on potato chip aisle.  And if social media is your source of over-indulgence, why not just turn off your computer by 9:00 PM, without any rules saying it can’t be turned back on if need be, but take it from one who knows, gang, if you turn off the computer, it’s more of a pain in the butt to get back on it if you have to wait for it to re-boot. And in the case of a writer, instead of saying, “I’m going to get that novel written this year!”  Why not just say, “I’m going to take some field trips to places that are pertinent to my research for my work-in-progress.”  For example, when doing research for my book, “The Art of Breathing”, about a woman with tuberculosis, I visited several former TB sanatoriums in and around Asheville.  Talk about interesting!  Not only was it interesting, but I met some great people, and I was inspired to the point that I had the book done before my deadline.

Chances are, if we take these small, realistic steps, and have a little fun while doing it, we might just find that bringing our lofty expectations down to Earth a little might help us reach those goals, or at least take us that much closer to them than ever before.

The bottom line is, let’s be more patient and kinder to ourselves—and others—this year.  Let’s not expect ourselves to turn into superheroes by taking giant leaps, but try, instead, to take smaller, solid steps that will ultimately help us to complete those daunting journeys in the Land of Lofty Resolutions.

Happy New (and gentle) Year, everyone!